UNNOTICED

Today was a small day, lost to subsistence, existence and apathy,
Filled with neither intellect nor love, poetry or prose,
Art or argument, passion or pleasure,
Existential questioning or playful pondering,
Not even lust.

I spent much of it drowning in a stagnant pool
Of numbness, avoidance and Prozac.

If it weren’t for the wisp of a warm spring breeze,
And an ethereal hint of a nearby lilac,
Today would have been entirely for naught,
Worthy of neither regret,
Nor remembrance, rather than both.

Unnoticed!
Perplexed and unnoticed!
That’s how I am about me,
Intoxicated by the elixir of being unnoticed,
Yet dying from the cirrhosis of going unnoticed.

Yesterday was bittersweet desperation,
Tomorrow, will be awash in solitude.

So I lie to myself with bottle in hand,
That one more pill will ease the pain.
I cower before God and man,
Begging for just one more dose,
When the bottle is gone.

I expose my soul to the world,
Lying face down
In a puddle of my own regret,
And there’s Fate,
Standing over me,
Narrating my demise.